The Couch

America loves gun porn

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Cretcher) — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 14:31:00 +0000

It happened one degree at a time, but like the frog in that famous experiment, we are boiling in a pot of gun porn.

Take one step back, pretend you're an alien and watch prime time television or almost any blockbuster movie. Unless it's a comedy, it's all shooting all the time. How can that not desensitize us to the horrendous, violent toll real-life bullets take on our country and the world?

And video games? They're training the drone pilots of the future. But even with a lifetime of shootem-ups under their belt, some of the cubical warriors flying missions from desks in California suffer from PTSD when they go home for dinner. Reaper by day, soccer Dad by night, while the rest of us shop.

Why is that OK?

Grow Up and Don't Suck So Much

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Cretcher) — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 21:56:00 +0000

Never in my most extreme opposition to the Bush presidency did I ever advocate a military coup (as Newsmax columnist John Perry did today) or assassination (as a Facebook poll did this week).

Never did I carry a sign that was a personal attack on the president (my protest signage was furious and relentless about many presidential policies).

I didn't waste my time worrying about whether Bush was addressing schoolchildren (presidents do that from time to time) or what songs they were singing about him.

I watched as the Air National Guard scandal was sidelined by a technicality (even though I doubt anyone questions the truth of the matter).

I rose disappointed on election day and went forward, understanding that that's how our system works (although, especially in 2000, I had grave suspicions that the system didn't work) and that I would just have to work hard for what I believed and wait it out.

I'm sure there are moral, sane, thoughtful republicans out there but they are certainly keeping a low profile.

Obama says "This isn't just any car company, this is GM"

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Cretcher) — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 18:12:00 +0000

Right.

"Just Any Car Company" didn't conspire with Firestone and Phillips Petroleum to dismantle our excellent mass transit system in the 30's.
"Just Any Car Company" didn't design and build a plug-in electric car in the 90's only to reclaim and destroy nearly every one and jump head first into Hummer production.

If we own 60% of the company we should start telling them how it's going to be.

Speeches! We need speeches!

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Cretcher) — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 14:50:00 +0000

These last few months have seemed like years.

My Hope and Change are wearing a little thin. The monumental tasks ahead sort of take the shine off the historic victory and I begin to worry; can any person parachute into this mess and hope to succeed?

Then I catch a snippet of press conference and hear "The unemployment numbers this week are terrible" instead of "The fundamentals of our economy are strong". The answer to the question "Will some ambassadors be political appointees?" is a simple "It would be disingenuous to say no". And I feel a tiny bit better.

I've been enjoying working my way through past seasons of "The Wire", the fantastic HBO series about the Sisyphean task of combating the drug trade in inner city Baltimore.

On the episode I watched last night a policeman was speaking to an angry group about the problems in their neighborhood. He had charts and graphs and spoke only of the great progress the police were making and how the people in the neighborhood really needed to step up to the plate and do their part. As the room erupts into angry chaos his superior, a tired, frustrated major, five months away from retirement, pushes the cop away from the podium, faces the crowd and acknowledges the reality of the situation.

Pushed by the crowd for a solution, he delivers the line that says it all.

"I don't know what the answer is, but it can't be a lie".

I Am the Angry Left

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Cretcher) — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 05:46:00 +0000

I'm furious. I can't wake up from the circular frustration dream that is 21st century America. I run and run but I make no progress. I scream but no sound comes out. I follow the big, stupid baby around saying "no no, don't put that in your mouth, it's yucky" but she eats the dog shit every time.

I stand at the mouth of a dead-end alley and say "this is not the way home" but the crowd stomps past me yelling "traitor" and "latte drinker" as they drag me along. They forgot about the brick wall at the other end. They built it but that was long ago and not worth considering. The only question now is how many children will we need to beat against the wall to knock it down. They point to every precious skull-chiseled chip in the brick and say "look! why won't you admit this is working!"

Conservative American's are afraid of everything. They are afraid to venture out of their own cul-de-sac, fearful of anything beyond that stop sign. They celebrate ignorance, ignore science, demonize the educated and self-righteously impose their narrow morality, even as one after another of their own invariably sprints off the path. How many anti-gay crusaders turned meth snorting man-whore does it take? How many abstinence-only preaching moms of knocked-up, promise ring-wearing teenage girls until the reality-based stand up and say "ENOUGH".

There is no press. There are 1000 slots on the cable guide but only 5 channels. 5 channels dedicated to keeping Americans stupid. 5 channels that ignore the urgent and create false urgency about the trivial. They dutifully report every lie Republicans utter, and believe me that's a frickin full time job.

Now the same folks that gave us 8 years of Republican disaster, dragging our country right down into the crapper, led by a teeny, tiny, schoolyard bully of a rich boy, who now has a perfect record of never succeeding at anything, are dragging themselves up off the floor yelling "please kick me again!"

I'm sorry, that pisses me off.

I understand he's having trouble with the caveman demographic too.

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Cretcher) — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:41:00 +0000

The cable news people really want to understand why Obama can't seal the deal with older, white, working class voters in Ohio, Pennsylvania, etc.

What country are they living in? They flatter us, or themselves. Or they're just too ashamed to tell it the way it is. Oh man! was Pennsylvania ticked off about Carvel's old "Pittsburgh and Philly with Alabama in between" comment. One proud Pennsylvanian after another lined up on TV to debunk that "myth". Well, I live in Ohio and I'm here to tell you what you already know, that quiet racism is alive and well in the U.S., at least in non-election years. Go out in the boonies in Ohio and strike up a conversation about some black man or another. If you're squeamish about the "N' word you'd better be wearing your thickest skin.

Has there been progress? Sure.

Enough to pat ourselves on the back and search for alternative reasons why a black guy running for president is having a little trouble winning white people in middle America? Oh, please!

The one silver lining is the age gap. It really does seem apparent that young people are less concerned with race and gender than their parents. Strike a victory for the march of time and incremental, generational change.

But still there's Obama's other big problem...He seems to appeal more to younger, well-educated, urban, middle class people.

I mean, what have those elitist losers ever done for America?

Somebody's got to tell you

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Cretcher) — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 19:25:00 +0000

Attention Headshavers:
1 in 1000 of you guys looks pretty cool.
The rest of you look like an american woman's armpit in winter.

Are you or aren't you?

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Cretcher) — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 14:08:00 +0000

In 2004 I canvassed for John Kerry, or more accurately against Bush, in my conservative city. It was a painful exercise in "lesser of 2 evils" politics.

More than once I was told "I'm pro-life so there's nothing else to talk about." At the time I couldn't help but think that many of these same people were also pro-war, pro-death penalty and largely unconcerned about any life outside of the God-Blessed US.

Apparently life begins at conception and ends at birth.

As I ponder the current Republican front-runners I think "welcome to my world."
Who are you going to vote for this time?

They serve at the pleasure of Me

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Cretcher) — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 14:00:00 +0000

What's so great about executive privilege?

Would there really be a chilling effect on the president's advisors if they knew that every piece of shitty advice they gave could be subject to public scrutiny?

I hope so.

That would surely be a good day for legality, morality and the public interest.

What passes for truth

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Cretcher) — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 18:16:00 +0000

Unlike David Brooks I think Hillary does owe us an apology for her vote on the Iraq war resolution. I don't find it credible that she didn't know Bush was hell-bent on war with Iraq.

She saw the writing on the wall and rather than take a difficult stand she voted with the pack. But not before leaving a trail of "escape hatch" speeches carefully worded to provide cover when voters and pundits Googled "Hillary AND Iraq" after it all turned to shit.

John McCain is getting pretty good at that lately, too.

She owes us an apology for triangulating when she should be leading.

New rule: Glass house = No stones

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Cretcher) — Thu, 11 Jan 2007 03:12:00 +0000

Tonight on CSPAN I got the opportunity to hear Senator Wayne Allard (R. Colorado) make noise about giving Democrats "the opportunity to make good on their promise of fiscal responsibility".
Well I say, if you have ever made and broken a "promise of fiscal responsibility" you're not alowed to talk about your opponent's.
There is no statute of limitations on promises.

My best sign ever.

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Cretcher) — Thu, 21 Sep 2006 15:29:00 +0000

The central assertion of Frank Rich's new book is that the war in Iraq was devised as a strategy to win the mid-term elections in 2002, and the news media went along for the ride.

Allow me to share a newspaper photo of yours-truly outside Union Terminal in Cincinnati, while Bush was delivering his infamous "mushroom cloud" speech, as evidence that, even with a lying government and complacent/complicit news media, it was still as plain as the nose on your face.

Look in your heart

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Cretcher) — Wed, 26 Jul 2006 14:57:00 +0000

I have many dear friends who voted for Bush. Some of them are doubtless rethinking that decision and dealing with that in different ways. To all who did and now regret it, I say, "Look in your heart and go forward". The normal sources we turn to for guidance and information let us down, and continue to do so.

Look in your heart and decide, as 100 civilians a day die in Iraq, if gay marriage is the pivotal issue of the day.

Many of the dead are children and old people. Look at your parents or that beautiful happy kid beside you and think about that. Not the abstract concepts of "collateral damage" or the vague unavoidable tragedies of war. The loves of your life snatched prematurely and randomly from earth by a relentless steamroller against whom you committed no offense and you are powerless to effect in any way. The innocent dead no longer have need of freedom or democracy.

Think about what you were doing when you were 18 and tell me, are you sure beyond a doubt that young Americans are dying for a just cause? Is American wealth worth preserving at any cost? If our lifestyle is only sustainable through endless carnage and the exploitation of humanity, is that OK? If you could save the life of the sweet, funny, gurgling baby, or the cheerleader next door by doubling your gas mileage would you do it?

Life is either sacred or it isn't. While there may be room for disagreement as to the humanity of a zygote, when it comes to babies, teenagers and parents, there is no dispute. Be they American or otherwise.

George W. Bush = Unmitigated success

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Cretcher) — Thu, 23 Mar 2006 16:00:00 +0000

Poor W, he was chosen to fail.

I can accuse Republicans of a lot of things, but they are generally not stupid or lacking in strategic thinking. If your goal is to shrink Big Government and eliminate entitlement programs, that expensive safety net that most Americans rely on and few are interested in giving up, there's really only one way.

Bush's job was to gut the treasury and he has surely exceeded expectations.

Do not speak of it again

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Cretcher) — Sun, 18 Dec 2005 02:07:00 +0000

I don't want to hear any more about September 11th.

It was a horrible tragedy, a personal tragedy for some and a national tragedy for the rest of us. Of course I remember the moment and a sick feeling washes over me whenever I do. But the way the memory has been twisted, used and abused, day in an day, out for the last 4 years makes me sick too.
Used like a bludgeon to strip me of my rights and freedom.
Used like the mother of all name-brands by Keep You Afraid Incorporated, it's the Coca-Cola of reasons why.
Why human rights are optional and why we should sacrifice young lives and and all of our national resources for an unrelated war of choice.

In 2001 you were at least 16 times more likely to die from a medical mistake than an act of terrorism. And that's in a very bad year for terrorism fatalities. I'm not even going to go into cancer, obesity, toxic pollution or any of a host of grim reapers corporate America throws in our path every day of every year.

A little perspective is in order.

Where's the Heathen Wuss Tier?

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Cretcher) — Tue, 13 Dec 2005 15:07:00 +0000

Under pressure from the FCC several cable companies will begin offering "family-choice" plans to people who feel they shouldn't have to pay for The Daily Show and South Park when all they want is Spongebob and CNN.

What about me?

I don't want the Mascara-drenched, gold-plated Jesus Channel,
I don't want the Buy This Useless Garbage Channel,
I don't want the Amazingly Shrill Encourage Warlike Aggression In Little Boys Cartoon Channel,
I don't want the Continue To Encourage Warlike Aggression In Grown Men Sports Channel
and I could do without the Never Under-Estimate The Stupidity Of The Viewing Public Channel.

ALL I WANT is The Daily Show and South Park.

Oh yeah . . . and HBO.

Attention Real Estate / Insurance Agents

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Cretcher) — Thu, 24 Nov 2005 00:20:00 +0000

A message to some of the small business people who are slathering buses and benches in my city with ads featuring their head shot:

Some of you people are not that good looking. I'm not sure its a selling point.

If I contribute now, they pledge to ask for twice as much next time.

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Cretcher) — Wed, 12 Oct 2005 14:49:00 +0000

The Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee canvassed me the other night. They have a fantastic new "public radio" style challenge grant going on, if I contribute now they pledge to match my contribution by additionally raising twice that amount.

Whaa? From who?

Notice it doesn't say "the Senator will sell one of his homes" to match your contribution.

That will cost you some Sacajaweas

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Cretcher) — Thu, 06 Oct 2005 14:42:00 +0000

I just returned from a trip to Europe and in addition to rail travel, tiny cars and pedestrian only areas, one of the things I quite enjoyed was a pocket full of jingling Euros. I like having enough in my pants pocket to actually buy something. I like getting a soda from a machine with 1 or 2 coins and not scrambling to find a dollar bill that doesn't spit right back out at me.

So I came back with a resolve to get a roll of Sacajaweas every time I cash my paycheck and do my part to get a $1 coin in circulation in the US. They're great coins. They look different than all the others and they feel different too. I also love that they have a world class nickname built right in.

Yesterday when I cashed my check I asked for not 1, but 2 rolls so I could start off with a bang. But when I got home and opened the rolls what do you suppose I found? Not the beautiful, weighty, golden Sacajaweas I asked for. Not by a long shot.

The bastard gave me 50 shining pieces of crap.

That ill-conceived, quarter-in-disguise, the Susan B. Anthony.

What about Eddie's Mom?

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Cretcher) — Wed, 27 Jul 2005 03:34:00 +0000

I just watched Rick Santorum on the Daily Show. And by the way, where the hell was John Stewart?

Santorum wants to return us to an age that never happened.

Let's take a look back through history. Consider the founding fathers. Thomas Jefferson, slave owner with a taste for the mochaccina on the side. Ben Franklin finagled the job of Colonial Governor of New Jersey for his illegitimate son. Then we move on to the great Republican moral values politicians of our century, like Strom Thurmond? He believed in segregation in *most* situations. Liars and fornicators every one, but at least they weren't gay.

What opposite world did Rick grow up in? OK, I'll admit it, the Beav's parents were pretty neat, but how do you explain Eddie Haskell?

Buy 5000 families $100 worth of groceries

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Cretcher) — Mon, 25 Jul 2005 23:13:00 +0000

The new political catchphrase of the moment is "If we can raise $500,000 by Friday we can send Washington a strong message about [John Roberts/Roe v Wade/Social Security/Iraq/The Patriot Act/Karl Rove/Big Bird/ -insert this week's $500,000 strong message here- ]

I reject pay for play government. It's not serving us very well currently and I don't think that sending Washington the message "the American public can be almost as good a cash cow as whatever corporation you've been whoring for so far" is going to make anything better.

I think every one of these issues is critically important, but I honestly don't know what good is coming from this river of money. The various party organizations, PAC's, 527's, etc. should remember what high esteem we all have for telemarketers and reflect a little bit on what it is they are doing.

Take 'em down 37¢ at a time.

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Cretcher) — Wed, 16 Mar 2005 17:31:00 +0000

Has anyone else noticed drastic increases in their credit card credit limits recently? Or how easy it is to get multiple cards with high limits?

Either credit card companies are feeling a wave of benevolent generosity or they're pretty damn sure that chapter 7 bankruptcies, the last reason they have to even notice if the people they extend credit to are creditworthy, are about to disappear. At least for you and me that is.

As they were voting down protections for military personnel and extreme medical emergencies, the brave men & women of the Senate made sure to leave an "asset protection trust" loophole in their bankruptcy reform bill big enough for wealthy people to drive a Hummer through.

Thanks for thinking of us, guys.

If 29% default interest rates and $35 one day late fees aren't enough to get credit card companies through this slump maybe they could cut their expenses by not sending me mountains of unsolicited, unwanted card offers every single day!

So when you get those card offers do what I do. Take every bit of unsolicited paper they send you, including the envelope it came in, put it all in the postage paid return envelope and send it right back.

A wicked pen and a taste for the poison

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Cretcher) — Wed, 23 Feb 2005 23:11:00 +0000

"We have become a Nazi monster in the eyes of the whole world -- a nation of bullies and bastards who would rather kill than live peacefully. We are not just whores for power and oil, but killer whores with hate and fear in our hearts. We are human scum, and that is how history will judge us . . . . No redeeming social value. Just whores. Get out of our way, or we'll kill you."

-Hunter Thompson, "Kingdom of Fear"

Of meeting the shrub at his 1974 superbowl party in Houston, Thompson said, "... he was nothing, he offered nothing, and he promised nothing. He had no humor. He was insignificant in every way and consequently I didn't pay much attention to him. But when he passed out in my bathtub, then I noticed him. I'd been in another room, talking to the bright people. I had to have him taken away."

My only personal Hunter Thompson experience was election night 1984 at a club called The Stone in San Francisco. He provided the play-by-play commentary as we watched Ronald Reagan"s reelection on TV. In honor of the conservative juggernaut, the theme of the evening was "Jungle Drums and Dancing Girls" and the stage was full of Filipino drummers and strippers on loan from the Mitchell brothers. We were howling into the darkness.

We had no idea.

No more FDR's.

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Cretcher) — Thu, 20 Jan 2005 15:47:00 +0000

Welcome to your world. According to Sy Hersh, the war against Iran is already on. The Senate thinks Condi the liar and Gonzales the torturer will be just fine, thank you. And even though the majority of people who voted for Bush said they wanted him to do it differently this time around, the Shrub says his reelection was his "accountability moment", a national endorsement of his Iraq policy.

What a sad moment this is for our country. How sad it is that “moral” people will allow themselves to be manipulated into supporting the slaughter of innocent human beings just so long as gay people can't get married.

How sad the whole presidential campaign was. How sad that a man who spoke out bravely against the last immoral war came up so short this time.

How said the “news” media is, wholly owned PR divisions of this special interest or that. How sad that they devote as much time covering their own reaction to a story as the story itself.

How sad it is that there have been 34 Republican scandals in the last 4 years, each one worse than Whitewater, and the main response is a move to gut ethics rules in congress.

At best we are, to quote Steve Earle "Getting into gear for four more years of things not getting worse." But I’m afraid that’s a lot to hope for.

Whew!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Mark Cretcher) — Tue, 11 Jan 2005 14:49:00 +0000

For a second I was worried by Bush’s estimates of a $10 trillion Social Security deficit, projected out to an "infinite horizon." Then I did the math and realized that, for me, it’s not a problem.

My income, projected out to infinity, is a gazillion dollars.